Jackie Lambchops

“I won’t pay. I know too much about extortion.”
- Tony Soprano
The Sopranos

I have a pet peeve -- rich celebrities who won’t pay their bills.
Washed-up diva Mariah Carey is the latest deadbeat. Carey, who is pregnant with child, owes her veterinarian $30,000. The vet is suing her for nonpayment of “extraordinary services.” The dogs involved are Jack Russell terriers, Cha-Cha, Dolomite and JJ. Since then, Carey’s added another dog, Jackie Lambchops (I read that when she refers to Jackie Lambchops, she uses a Tony Soprano accent).
How could she owe a vet $30,000? What were the “extraordinary procedures? Did the dogs get nose jobs?
According to the lawsuit, the original bill was $38,000 (of which Carey still allegedly owes $29,559.) The vet, a Dr. Cindy Bressler from Manhattan, made a house call to Southern California, where Carey and two of the dogs were hanging out to promote her movie “Precious.”
While there, the vet supervised the birth of dog No. 3, Dolomite. Apparently, the vet took care of the new puppy, and the other dogs, for the whole month following the puppy’s birth.
If this is how Carey acts with her dogs, I wonder how she’ll be as a mother.
If I were Carey’s obstetrician, I would get her credit card number up front – and a forwarding address, in case she forgets to take the baby home.