Double Vito

“It never ends.”
- Kay Corleone

Godfather III

            Vito went from eight to 16 pounds in one month -- all on three cups of dry dog food a day. He expanded like the Botox in Joan Rivers’ lips, and he never even ate an ice cream cone, let alone an extra bite of kibble.

            If zippy, young Vito’s metabolism is satisfied with the same amount of food while he doubles in size, it can only make me wonder what the implications are for humans  -- namely, middle-aged women of Sicilian descent who sit around and write a blog.

            New research has emerged that says a mature woman needs an hour of exercise a day just to maintain a normal weight. That means if she doesn’t work out and eats the same amount, she will grow out of her size-12 dress and into a parachute, with arm and head holes cut out, in no time. To actually lose weight, the report implies that she’d have to swim the English Channel daily.

            Vito does seem hungrier, and I fear he will soon push me into giving him four cups of food. At that rate, he will be the first canine to earn a spot on “The Biggest Loser.”

            I asked Vito’s veterinarian about distance running for health. For example, should I sign up for the Iditarod? Racing 1,049 miles in a span of nine days would surely keep the weight off, wouldn’t it?

            The vet answered that the Iditarod is an extreme and dangerous race. He said I should never even consider entering.

            He also said that I should continue to feed Vito just as I had been. He said young dogs, and Huskies in particular, have great metabolisms and adjust wonderfully to their caloric intake.

            At the end of our appointment, the vet went back to my original query about the great Alaskan race. He stressed that I should take Vito on some good walks – no Iditarod -- and if I did that, Vito’s weight would stay on target.

            But he had misunderstood my question. I wasn’t referring to Vito. Apparently veterinarians ignore new research regarding middle-aged women and their ever-growing exercise requirements. I was considering the Iditarod for me.